I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
