Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Screwed.edu
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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