i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
