you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
