I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
