No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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