What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
why is half of my head shaved?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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