wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What a dumb baby whore.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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