I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
