I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
