i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
