Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize