I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
