I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
this boner is exhausting
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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