YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
