New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im six kinds of drunk right now
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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