They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
