we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
