soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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