Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
