i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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