too bad you live with your parents still
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
