Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
