So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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