a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
