Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i think im in europe. pls send help
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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