The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
