Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
