I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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