My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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