Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My balls are so social today.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
