Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
