I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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