Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
