So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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