Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
