i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
