I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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