you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
