DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
