So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
