i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
