I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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