susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
