sarcasm needs its own font
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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