I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
