there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
