so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
this hospital has no fireball
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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