Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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