What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
