At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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