I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
