So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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