Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
