youre lurking in front of me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
