He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
