Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
