i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize