I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This is the high leading the old right now
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
