a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
