I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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